Whilst lying on the cool concrete floor to my balcony pondering over all things ponder-able, I had a great post-olympic brainwave that I think might be a real way to minimise the problems associated with democracy and forming new Government.
After the comedy which befell Greece recently in having to have numerous bungled elections, I say we actually have wanna-be Politicians actually (physically) run for Office as part of their pre-election campaign.
Liven up running for Government by making them run for Government…
Not only will it make them fit and have them appear at least worthy of representing the cause, it will narrow down the fat greedy stragglers who’ve already eaten too many pies at our expense.
The ‘piece de la resistance’ will be a 100m sprint into Parliament, whereby (say after 10 seconds), we the public get to open fire on them from the starting line…
It might not genuinely succeed in having the best candidates running the Country, however it will ensure that they are committed, and aware of impending risks should they fail!
The idea seemed so popular, even the local Police turned up for a bit of practice…
Anyone unworthy of their newly appointed position similarly would find an exit door marked “Imminent Danger awaits” whereby they would be free to leave any any point of their choosing.
Dismissals and resignations could be brought to you ‘live‘ like a sort of ‘Exit Factor’ show following ‘Question Time’ or the News each week.
We, the general public could vote on which challenge is put in place to boost Political awareness and better still, as Popularity declines, spin off channels could be interlaced with ‘Big Brother style vote off’s…
This week in the House, Antony faces the Arena of Lions or the Tightrope over a lake of Acid to see if he stay’s in the Cabinet, the choice is yours…
I can see it catching on, so much so that I hope to address some TV executives with the idea shortly…
We could make the whole build up like a cross between the ‘Running man’ and ‘Eurovision’ to keep everyone happy. The recent ‘Euro’ woes have opened everyone’s eyes to the global misery brought on us by mismanagement everywhere and each country would no doubt favor it’s own style of deliberate and cruel persecution for it’s members.
Who wouldn’t tune in to see Angela Merkel wrestle with a Crocodile…?
I sure would, in fact I’d catch the damned thing myself if I knew it’d have a fair chance of getting to grips with her and her ‘strategies’.
Sadly, Angela won’t be joining us in the studio later, but we’ll be right back after this advert from our sponsors…
Other ideas would be just for good entertainment’s sake, something that T.V. and those in charge have long forgotten…
If we combined the whole ‘Jackass’ mentality to the actual houses of Parliament, it’d sure as hell liven up Policy debate too.
I personally like the idea that every day an undercover team of ‘specialists’ go round the house rigging up everything from electric door knobs to exploding toilet seats! The idea that they wouldn’t know anything would quite follow on with their usual pursuit of their jobs, but instead of lying and pretending to us that they know what’s going on, they would be exposed to their own lie and know f*ck all about anything, only this time it would be being watched by millions, live.
How priceless would it be to see them held hostage to their own nuances, youtube footage from MP’s within the house would surely be leaked back online for ‘one-up-manship’ of course, how better to be in opposition than to have filmed your opposite number peeing his pants when someone just happened to have snook a Gorilla into his office at lunchtime…
Waste our money, lie and steal anymore, and this monkey’s going to be doing the Spanking for a change…
Classic entertainment, no doubt and as previously mentioned – It get’s people to have an interest in what’s going on!
Those with the most votes would be afforded privileges of course and be allowed to regain some civility by being allowed back into the public arena and their Popularity would be a clear sign to how much of a kicking they either did or didn’t receive when enjoying their ‘free’ time.
Like the many of us struggling to get by without engaging the corrupt will of our peers or by abusing the system, they too would be allowed to experience the humanity and frailty that ‘real life’ affords the majority of the people whom they usually neglect whilst in power.
The deciding factor for me though still has to be the initial 100 m sprint into Parliament, and I for one would ensure that no expense spared would have gone into getting a quality scope and some high explosive bullets…
If you’re like me, don’t leave it upto chance alone.
Remember :
Get a good spot.
Get the right tools for the job, and invest in some high powered munitions…
The last thing you want is to have to waste another shot on the bast*rd when you could up your total score…
After all, is this not the most poignant reminder of what we don’t need in Office…
Pingback: Goozle Zone