When Mosquito’s start using Facebook, I’ll probably have more fans than Lady Gaga…

I’ve always been fortunate in my appeal with Mosquito’s – they just love me.

It’s clearly a Love/Hate relationship and one that will eventually end in disaster for either one of us, however as there are far more of them than me, it will probably end in disaster for myself, needless to say – Law of averages etc…

Hi, I'm called a mosquito, and called your food...
Hi, I’m called a mosquito, and you’re called food…

I’m glad that I’ll never have to lose sleep feeling unwanted, and as clearly known by scientists and zoologists the world over, the staple diet of a mosquito is ME.

I’ve been told it’s because I have good blood, sweet blood or something like that. – It doesn’t make me feel any happier knowing that I’m only fortunate that till Vampires and anything else that has an appetite from blood realise this, mosquito’s are my only problem.

I’ve not really seen many nature documentaries on mosquito’s however I expect that when I do, I’ll no doubt be on TV. Hidden camera’s and that remote-controlled cat that I thought was real have been following me all along, studying the habits of the mosquito food chain, yours truly… Plus if I ever see Sir David Attenborough loitering around then at least my theory has been proven true and I’m not going mad.

Wherever I am in the world they know it. It doesn’t matter what I do to try to elude them either and I’ve tried everything… Disguises, stunt doubles it just doesn’t matter, it’s like they have me electronically tagged.

When I was young and lived in Canada it became obvious just how popular I was going to be when the Head mosquito and a small entourage greeted us at the Airport.

In summer I used to wear Baseball caps, T-shirt’s and shorts and by the time I had to come in at night they had left an outline of where my clothes had been. I never needed a tan, I was red all year round from bites, Bast*rds!

To be fair they still can’t normally get enough of me and they get quite a bit as it is… I often sit in my garden playing guitar or working but lately it’s become unbearable due to the small micro-army of fans I have trying to get a haemoglobin autograph.

The down side of living where I live and having a little garden is that it attracts what appear to be ALL the mosquito’s in Athens and the neighbouring area’s. The up side is that each year I know I am probably responsible for the largest casualty rate of mosquito’s since Vietnam.

Mwah hahaha… – (In a Christopher Lee kind of way)..

So if you know of any cures, remedies or practices I can undertake to maybe make myself less of a target then please drop me a line, for now I might as well be covering myself in chocolate sauce and having to let them just get on with it as usual…

*(Image by unknown source)


4 thoughts on “When Mosquito’s start using Facebook, I’ll probably have more fans than Lady Gaga…

  1. Wow, you are clearly adored by entire mosquito population. It is true though they like ‘sweet’ blood. Either way, their fans I’d rather not have!!


  2. Sorry dude. No Mantras for now.
    I’m sure though that you would have tried Mosquito repellents and Mosquito Hitters to kill each one of those s*ckrs.
    But i would really like to see their work some day (only in pictures though).
    nicely put post btw, and i blog at http://genobz.wordpress.com
    just have a look and see if you find anything interesting.


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