The kitten Diaries… Day minus 1 to the now…

Monday the 27th September.
(16:00pm approx)…

Still, very warm and quiet around here, the only movement is the steady pacing between one room and another followed by Miaowing repeatedly and a muffled voice saying “are you still hungry woman…?” – which is followed by a much deeper purring noise for several minutes until motion ceases and it feels like we’ve fallen over onto something soft.

Mum seems restless today, she won’t seem to let us out to play yet, don’t know why as we’re raring to go!

There appears to be several levels to our new home from what we can make out, one particularly high area is especially soft, but getting up and down seems to be making mum tired as she does a lot of sleeping at the minute, and eating.

There’s often a voice we can hear, sounds deep sometimes – especially in the morning, but seems to change after a while. We can’t quite tell what it’s saying yet but it’s not Greek that’s for sure. He says the odd few words now and again when a stupid ringing noise goes off, but on the whole he sounds like he could be fun.

All we care about is that he feeds mum, cause that means he’ll feed us too soon, and from the amount she eats – we’re gonna be huge soon…!

Mum is… She needs to go on a Diet, it’s like she’s pregnant or something, either way, she’s FAT.

(20:00pm approx)

Something’s going on, we can hear that voice again, mum’s just jumped onto something and he’s saying something about getting off his keyboard. Sounds like she does it a lot, and his shelves – not sure what they are but it sure sounds fun…

Mum’s stalking him by the sound of it, we can hear him tripping into things as he trips over her. Mum must love it as she’s purring away and by the sound of it always keen to do it as often as possible.

Tuesday the 28th September.
(00:30pm approx)

I don’t think mum can sleep much at the minute, she seems to be climbing all over that dude again. At least he’s not falling over her again.


Oops, spoke to soon…

(03:00am approx)

Not sure what’s going on outside but I’m sure I just heard him say to mum “what you doing sleeping on my head”…! Earlier he was moaning about her sitting on his feet and biting his knees, what’s his problem anyway… The sooner we’re out the better, we’ll out number him and have a knee each – depending on how many knee’s this dude has of course, otherwise we’ll have to share…

(06:00am approx)

“F*cking binmen”… Whatever they are, he sounds p*ssed… Maybe that explains all that screaming and shouting though and that horrible loud grinding noise we’ve been hearing at this sort of time everyday lately, well, since we grew ears anyway!

Sounds like he’s moving, mum is anyway and when she gets off his head he will too.

She’s purring away again, must be time for him to feed her, Yay…

(07:00am approx)

Sounds like 7am needs a Slap… He just said something about how glad he’ll be when he’s fuelled up and can see straight, admittedly mum didn’t let him get any sleep last night. It’s his fault though, clearly not mastered the Art of ‘Fat Cat on Head’ yet, or the Japanese ‘Way of the chewy Knee’ either… Amateur!

Anyway, this could be the big day. Mum’s wobbling about inside a bit and she’s cooled down a little too, some other fool keeps putting a paw in my face and occasionally I get a little Ass against my head, If I could see I’d tell you who it was but either way, I’m not alone in here.

(09:00am approx)

Not sure what happened then, mum’s sprung a leak from what I can tell. We’ve lost fluid in here and she’s stretching and clawing at everything by the sounds of it. We can feel something stroking us outside, but whatever it is, it’s HUGE… I thought my paw was big but this dude’s must be gigantic…!

Still, if they’re the hands he feeds us with, game on…

(11:00am approx)

Must have been a false alarm earlier as I’m still here… Mum’s really restless and that guy’s moaning like hell about some noisy arsed builders that have been building a property forever. Not sure who he’s asking but, in my professional opinion they won’t get it finished for ages either. Clearly not done much building work yet but I’m sure I could probably do it faster and better than them by all accounts.

(13:00 pm approx)

Where the hell am I...?

Where the hell am I...?


Some-things happening! Oh my god, it’s like going through the Big Brother doors… Someone’s just licked me! Oh, it’s mum I think! I hope…

Oh no – I can’t see, I’m blind… Hold on, I can’t see anyway, I’m not expected to… What a relief!

Whys she licking me? She’s been eating LOADS for the last two months! I’m praying she’s not a cannibal and thinks I’m a starter. I’m only ickle.

I wouldn’t feed her anyway knowing what’s she’s been mullering her way though these last few weeks anyway.

Well, priorities – I must be male anyway as I have a huge penis…

Hold on, nope, wrong again, that’s my umbilical cord, maybe… I hope it isn’t anyway, a life of Porn films and Pussy await me otherwise. Hang on, I’m a Cat, a life of pussy awaits me regardless…


So, this is it then, I’m finally out – Freedom…

Ok, I can’t see, I’m being licked constantly, and my huge penis could be gone in the morning…

This must get better SURELY…?

(13:30pm approx)

Well, so far so good, turns out mum’s got 8 nipples…!

I hope all females do…Me and the Ladies are gonna get jiggy when I can see properly and work out if this enormous manhood’s mine or not! Either way :


Hold on a minute, something’s just kicked me. Now it’s standing on my head and it’s just stolen my nipple and won’t let me get near another one!!!

Oh NO… It’s another ickle thing like me, but a girl…

I can see me having to get used to this…


(pictures to follow)…


About Simon Rawicz

Hmmm, It is about me I suppose... Work hard die young seems to be the motto life's going to write on my coffin well before we agree on terms and conditions. I'm a 2D/3D Artist/Designer and Multi-media specialist by trade, I play guitar and write songs when I'm not wanting to vent my anger out on the system. If I occasionally do get time to do anything else I'd like to know about it... Meanwhile to free my mind of the many demons that stalk me, I write stuff, your reading it so I don't need to tell you any more than that surely...!
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