Running for Government…

Whilst lying on the cool concrete floor to my balcony pondering over all things ponder-able, I had a great post-olympic brainwave that I think might be a real way to minimise the problems associated with democracy and forming new Government.

After the comedy which befell Greece recently in having to have numerous bungled elections, I say we actually have wanna-be Politicians actually (physically) run for Office as part of their pre-election campaign.

Run futhermucka, run...

Liven up running for Government by making them run for Government…

Not only will it make them fit and have them appear at least worthy of representing the cause, it will narrow down the fat greedy stragglers who’ve already eaten too many pies at our expense.

The ‘piece de la resistance’ will be a 100m sprint into Parliament, whereby (say after 10 seconds), we the public get to open fire on them from the starting line…

It might not genuinely succeed in having the best candidates running the Country, however it will ensure that they are committed, and aware of impending risks should they fail!

The idea seemed so popular, even the local Police turned up for a bit of practice…

Anyone unworthy of their newly appointed position similarly would find an exit door marked “Imminent Danger awaits” whereby they would be free to leave any any point of their choosing.

Dismissals and resignations could be brought to you ‘live‘ like a sort of ‘Exit Factor’ show following ‘Question Time’ or the News each week.

We, the general public could vote on which challenge is put in place to boost Political awareness and better still, as Popularity declines, spin off channels could be interlaced with ‘Big Brother style vote off’s…

This week in the House, Antony faces the Arena of Lions or the Tightrope over a lake of Acid to see if he stay’s in the Cabinet, the choice is yours…

I can see it catching on, so much so that I hope to address some TV executives with the idea shortly…

We could make the whole build up like a cross between the ‘Running man’ and ‘Eurovision’ to keep everyone happy. The recent ‘Euro’ woes have opened everyone’s eyes to the global misery brought on us by mismanagement everywhere and each country would no doubt favor it’s own style of deliberate and cruel persecution for it’s members.

Who wouldn’t tune in to see Angela Merkel wrestle with a Crocodile…?

I sure would, in fact I’d catch the damned thing myself if I knew it’d have a fair chance of getting to grips with her and her ‘strategies’.

Unfortunately one of the residents won't be joining us next week...

Sadly, Angela won’t be joining us in the studio later, but we’ll be right back after this advert from our sponsors…

Other ideas would be just for good entertainment’s sake, something that T.V. and those in charge have long forgotten…

If we combined the whole ‘Jackass’ mentality to the actual houses of Parliament, it’d sure as hell liven up Policy debate too.

I personally like the idea that every day an undercover team of ‘specialists’ go round the house rigging up everything from electric door knobs to exploding toilet seats! The idea that they wouldn’t know anything would quite follow on with their usual pursuit of their jobs, but instead of lying and pretending to us that they know what’s going on, they would be exposed to their own lie and know f*ck all about anything, only this time it would be being watched by millions, live.

How priceless would it be to see them held hostage to their own nuances, youtube footage from MP’s within the house would surely be leaked back online for ‘one-up-manship’ of course, how better to be in opposition than to have filmed your opposite number peeing his pants when someone just happened to have snook a Gorilla into his office at lunchtime…

Finally, an intelligent primate in Government.

Waste our money, lie and steal anymore, and this monkey’s going to be doing the Spanking for a change…

Classic entertainment, no doubt and as previously mentioned – It get’s people to have an interest in what’s going on!

Those with the most votes would be afforded privileges of course and be allowed to regain some civility by being allowed back into the public arena and their Popularity would be a clear sign to how much of a kicking they either did or didn’t receive when enjoying their ‘free’ time.

Like the many of us struggling to get by without engaging the corrupt will of our peers or by abusing the system, they too would be allowed to experience the humanity and frailty that ‘real life’ affords the majority of the people whom they usually neglect whilst in power.

The deciding factor for me though still has to be the initial 100 m sprint into Parliament, and I for one would ensure that no expense spared would have gone into getting a quality scope and some high explosive bullets…

The public take aim on MP's...

If you’re like me, don’t leave it upto chance alone.

Remember :

Get a good spot.
Get the right tools for the job, and invest in some high powered munitions…

The last thing you want is to have to waste another shot on the bast*rd when you could up your total score…

Bush tries to look busy, again...

After all, is this not the most poignant reminder of what we don’t need in Office…

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Try it now, so i did…

It’s been a while since I had freedom long enough to write anything of note however the ‘WordPress’ – (Have you tried our new home page quick form yet?) spurred me on…

So, I tried it, nothing special on the whole.

The earth didn’t move as such.

Handy if you’re that lazy you can’t be arsed to press the ‘add new post’ button I guess, but otherwise I don’t feel any better for rushing to press it.

Fortunately I don’t feel any worse either, so that’s a kind of result.

Today’s top search enquiries did make me chuckle though, apart from the usual culprits, ‘accidental penis exposure’ popped up twice…

TWICE!

Now, in itself it’s an amusing search term if nothing else, the fact that people search for it is (to me at least) even funnier.

Is it accidental in the fact that these people clearly accidentally exposed their penis to something or someone, or that they were doing something irrelevant and then found themselves with their penis hanging out?

I do like the idea of maybe a window cleaner on a high rise office block cleaning his windows whilst accidentally scaring all the office workers who happen to look across at him doing his job with his wedding veg on show, there’s a comedy moment if ever there was one.

The other alarming option could be that whilst working on something highly dangerous or toxic someone maybe exposed their penis to radiation or something and ended up with a mutant willy…

Not that the average penis isn’t far from being ‘mutant’ anyway, it just casts a worrying image of a new evil baddie for some new lame superhero film.

Doc Todger and his Cyber Mutant Penis trying to take over the world, again…

Not that Doc Todger has tried before and failed but I’d like to see Peter Parker’s face on that blockbuster, or aptly named cockbuster film…

The other random visits can sometimes be made up of Hitler, arses and KEELPNO, not much in them I know but frightening to think that someone may be looking for information on Hitler accidentally exposing himself!

Looks like he's got a floater!

Trying to take over the World did require commitment, and a clean willy…

Now, there’s a quality piece of war footage I’d like to see!

Not that I have a need to see Hitler’s sausage, but just because the long lasting mental images would be hilarious…

A Fest was had...

It wasn’t just difficult, it’s was like trying to find a sausage in a Darkroom…

Another favourite listing that shows up is peachyness…

If you didn’t already know,

It is the LAW…

Θ)