If In doubt – Monica Bellucci

In an age where ‘Kim Kardashians‘ fat photoshopped arse makes more news than most genuine stories of worth, (Global Warming, People starving, Immigration and Terrorism etc), it’s nice to reflect on a bygone age of seduction, imagination and sensual/visual tease.

Monica Belluci, Beauty, Heavenly, Sensual, gorgeous, stunning

Divine beauty, in all its glory with no pretence.

I remember days when a ‘Camel Toe was actually found on a Camel, and would only ever usually be seen at the Zoo. Not a necessity in an article about a beautiful woman who now had to have her vajazzle stuffed into a wide angle zoom lens for all to see.

I remember when a ‘Wardrobe Malfunction‘ was also something more akin to a failed Ikea project or in the worse case, – ‘The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe‘.

Nothing signifies a wardrobe malfunction more than a dangerous carnivore and a mythical sorceress actually being in THE wardrobe, but not any more. It appears that leaving the house and having your love plums swinging out the bottom of your shorts when being papped, or when smiling for the worlds press with no undercrackers on whilst you’re genitals are waving to your mother is now one such incident.

Despite all these perils now becoming a part of our morally astute society, ensuring prime time for your junk to be seen is ‘all their age‘. . .

So much so that soon they probably won’t even let you on public transport unless you poke the driver in the eye with a nipple or indulge him in a quick ‘tea-bagging‘ session between stops.

I also remember reading about famous people, and not having to worry about whether they were or weren’t male or female, gay or straight, or in need of having to declare themselves as whatever due to Mankind’s shallow need to categorise everyone to fit into a certain demographic, which only then serves to be used by the media and the (for/against) argument to which now it serves.

I remember a time when it wasn’t deemed as ‘sexist‘ to want a woman without armpit hair, a beard or a penis, and yet these days it’s almost seen as taboo to even whisper of such abnormalities. Most of all I remember being able to enjoy seeing the spark and energy flicker across a person as their inner beauty hinted at what could be, your imagination being driven wild as your mind wandered into an unknown world of hope.

So we made it all better did we? Ahhh yes. Throwing away our primal instincts for the ‘latest‘ handheld retard initiator, aptly known as an ‘eyephone‘ because if you wave it near me I’ll probably stuff in your face and gouge out your eyes.

Meanwhile, I just downloaded a new ‘app‘ for my mobile, it’s called ‘Ignorant bastard‘.
It does f*ck all, I do f*ck all, and anyone near me also gets to do F*CK ALL. . . Those not even with me look at me whilst I’m doing f*ck all and we all do F*CK ALL together.

Brilliant isn’t it. Most phones have this as standard from what I’ve seen lately and it’s just amazing what they can do. The best thing is that I’m connected ‘Worldwide‘, and I can let people know when I’m doing F*CK ALL’ – 25/7, 9 days a week, 703 days a year!

So, Technology! What a wonder that became, Now all I get to see when I’m out and about is people walking into lampposts as they stare into their phones, tripping over raised paving slabs and stumbling over steps as they wade through dogsh*t bouncing off people tweeting about where they’re next off to.

The joys of making eye contact in public nowadays has become a high risk endeavour, as more and more people so unused to the ‘real‘ world lose all sense of how to interact with each other.

They look at you like an Alien if you try and be civil, and are never more than one phone call away from the Police if you so much as smile at them.

Someone needs to invent an app which causes phones in the nearby vicinity to explode, but which also takes a ‘Selfie‘ and uploads it to everyone you know whilst doing so.

World, what went wrong. . . ?

Whilst I appreciate that we as a species need to learn and adapt, there’s nothing more alluring or appealing than real life, with real people, in real situations doing what real people used to do.

Are people so scared to be seen as not being like everyone else, every second of every day, all day long every f*cking day?
And do we really give a sh*t, need to know or have to have it all stuffed into our faces. If we want to know more, we’d ask, we’d look, we’d save some for the discovery.

These days its like :

– Hi, have you met my Ass? Me and my Tits went to the Mall and here’s a full itinerary of each f*cking step I took till I got there and did the same sh*t most people do anyway, but because you haven’t got all this sh*t in my face, I thought you might like to know what and how to do it too because you obviously do nothing because I haven’t seen you upload anything for minutes.

– In case you forgot what I look like, I just uploaded another ‘Selfie‘ because you blinked and may have missed me looking like this at that angle, because just then, that was me, have you liked it yet? If you don’t like it straight away, I’ll keep posting it till I’ve got enough likes, so it’s best if you just like it now.

– You do like it don’t you? Have you seen me in this one, I just took this one while you were thinking about liking the last one. Isn’t it great!!!

– You’re quiet, are you ok, are you dead, or worst still, is there no WIFI!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh. . .

-(999, 911, 100) – Emergency services, I need urgent assistance straight away!

– “Certainly Madam. What appears to be the problem?”

– I don’t know how to say this, but we have no connection. . . Sob.

– “That’s ok, we’ll have someone round to give you a full lobotomy straight away. . .”

Sometimes there is nothing more beautiful than something like the picture featured. It’s not the person per say (but she is heavenly), it’s the principle and what the image represents that matters.

Monica Bellucci, beauty, skindeep, vogue, natural, godess

The eyes say more than anything you could ever hope to try and say with all the words in the world. . .

There is nothing more beautiful than beauty imagined, inside.

The eyes are the gateway to the soul, (also a hefty divorce and kids who grow up to hate you), but before all that, there is often a fleeting elevation to which we as people all live for. The smile that beckons, the lips that tease, the thought that lingers after your eyes have passed each others gaze.

The slow desire which comes from within, eagerly consumes our mind as we desperately seek to break the silence and learn more.

These days,  you might as well just walk upto someone you like, butt-naked, point to your bits and ask them if they want to share it!

* – Legal Disclaimer : No Camels were hurt in the creation of this article.


Into the new year and beyond…

Tellas – Avoid them like the plague…!
18:07 on 03 November 2008

It’s just a quick moan, any of you who know me may know that I have been waiting for over four months to have my phone and Internet connected.

Welcome to Greece, welcome to Tellas…

I won’t say too much on the subject right now as i have to prepare myself for the verbal onslaught that will follow.


TELLASholes - Sign up now and be ignored for months...

Stay tuned folks…!

Meanwhile, don’t touch these useless idiots with a barge pole, they haven’t a clue…

Sunday and Religion…
18:42 on 09 November 2008

Well, always a hot subject, one that mercilessly massacres people for the divine good of all those who don’t follow it…

So, is it any good?

E's not the Messiah

My God's bigger than your God...!

Well, having faith and having religion are two different things to me. Faith is one thing I personally feel we all have to have at some point, whether it’s for our health, our future, our outlook on life, or for during the dark times that cloud our lives.

We all need to be able to draw upon something deeper than common sense and emotional strength at times in our lives, and I should know having been through many a darkest hour myself.

Even the simplest things in life sometimes require faith, and at times we might not even recognise it for what it is, however the ever-present and infinite strength we may think we have as people can often run dry.

Religion on the other hand is a deeply personal choice, something that is often passed down to us, or something that we discover as we grow older as life introduces us to experiences not of our choosing.

I was brought up in a fairly religious family. My grandparents had good reason to try to teach us a sense of worth and the values of their beliefs into us as to them, it was the right choice as we grew.

Knowing now what both of them had experienced during their lives, they had to rely upon more than just the obvious. They had both endured personal and emotional difficulties throughout their lives, experienced two world wars, and survived afterwards through some of the most extreme hardships. This was not only testament to their character, but to their attitude to life in general, and to the strengths that their parents had bestowed upon them.

They we’re both good people who lived only as they wanted others to live by them. They helped where they could, took only what they needed, and shared what they could to those less fortunate. This however wasn’t all due to religion. This was down to the individual.

The reason I felt I had to mention this today, is due to me reading an absolute classic headline in the news today.

“Priests brawl at Jerusalem Church”…

What a classic! Its funny now as it seems like a novel headline, however for centuries, the various churches and religions have been waging war on each other since the dawn of time…

We’ve been fortunate in our time not to have had the Spanish inquisition bearing down upon us, murdering all in its way for the sake of a Priest with a hangover. In some parts of the world though, a similar story has been unfolding and yet, we as people read about it in the news with a secure distance, a contentment in knowing that it’s not happening to us.

It’s the 21 century and yet it’s still acceptable for people to rampage on about some holy ideal that they believe in. It’s not right, and it’s not necessarily wrong to believe in your individual beliefs, however if anyone believes in the divine right to kill in the name of religion, then they themselves have failed to actually see what it is they supposedly believe in.

It’s now the day after the Bali bombers have rightly been executed, and the week after what is seen as the future of the world evolving due to the election of a Black president in the USA, possibly the most important, and hopefully positive time in America’s history.

Whether an immediate impact will be felt has to be seen but either way, the removal of George “World War 3” Bush has to be a good thing for everyone in the universe, not just on the planet.

The arguments I kept hearing though were down to race, colour, religion and background etc…

Personally, Who the f*ck cares…

If he were Green, called Adolf and believed in scientology I couldn’t care less, as long as he believed in democracy, fairness and the future of the planet and the people, then I’ll be happy.

What he says at night to the skies is quite frankly the least of my worries…

The people I have seen and met in my travels all have one thing in common, they are human, they are individuals, and they are no better or no worse than me. Life may have unbalanced the harmony in their lives to make them different to you or me, but they are never the less, people.

These people, all have in common with me the divine right to live a good life. Religion has no place in dictating or defining people, and what they are, but even more than that, it doesn’t have the right to interfere with other people’s rights and beliefs, whatever you race, colour and creed. It’s there to help, apparently.

People have had different views on it over the years, the Romans, the Vikings, and the Nazi’s maybe have all interpreted it in maybe a somewhat, shall we say (flippant) way, and yet their impact has carved up the lives of all who were unfortunate enough to be around during their reign.

In my time I have read about Muslims being denied the right to co-exist with their beliefs in the western world, westerners being denied the right to show or express their rights for fear of upsetting others and their beliefs, people as we know being killed wholesale in the name of some God or whatever, and yet the same goes on again and again.

Even whilst writing this, someone somewhere will have been killed because someone believed a higher entity told them to do it.

This isn’t religion, its called being Crazy. The same crazy that has killed people for centuries.

The very essence of a religion is supposedly to promote peace and harmony, better understanding and definition as individuals, this nurtured with the respect of others and all who co-exist in the world, surely should make the world a better place, not the place it has been and probably will be if we as a collective don’t do something to change the way things are now.

I believe everyone has a right to believe in what they choose, how they practice this and what they believe in though has to be right to start with.

Here in Greece I sit on the bus and often watch people exert their religion in public when they pass churches. This isn’t wrong, however the reasons why many feel they have to show off their chosen faith is often wrong and this happens world-wide.

I often have to smile to myself as many a devout believer stares down their nose at me, feeling that they are a higher entity as they go about their business. This is usually the same devout entity though that I’m sure has probably committed adultery, who rarely practices what they preach, and who by their very attitudes have already failed in the knowledge that they themselves were once taught.

This applies to many of so-called believers of so many different faiths. To me the true holy person has time and compassion for all, with no discrimination what so ever and doesn’t feel the need to force it upon others as they themselves deeply know this isn’t what they were taught to do.

The fact that Priests were fighting is nothing new, the joke to me was the so-called religion they were trying augment on everyone else who had a different opinion.

I leave you to your Sundays now, to do whatever it is you choose to do, and have a good week…

God permitting, as they say… Or maybe without God, whatever your choice, either way, good fortune upon us all…


Greek women… I had to at some point risk everything…!
22:37 on 10 November 2008

Hmmm, so…I’ve been desperately trying to get out of having to write about this since I have been here, however as each new day goes by I feel compelled more and more to have to say at least a little something about the subject of Greek women… 😀

Covering message to people everywhere…
This by no means is anything other than observational and based on what I have spoken to people about and seen, so to minimise the risk of incurring the wrath of men and women everywhere, I apologise in advance if any take it the wrong way…however I’m foolhardy, or foolish, one of the two and had to make comment, as it is my duty to people everywhere who expect me to make a fool out of myself at some point anyway…

So , here goes… 😀

So, I’m a reasonably normal, healthy, voracious male with a perfectly normal level of sexual attraction in the female species, spoilt in my observations here however, and still tongue-tied for the beauty that surrounds me on a daily basis.

I’ve been to a few countries before and seen what I consider some stunningly beautiful women in my time, but none more so than here in Greece.

I have been here nearly eight months now and I fall in love a ten times a day, at least, and that’s before I even get on the bus to work. I have been fortunate enough to get to know quite a few who have befriended me since I arrived here, and to be honest, their beauty scares me silly. Its rare I’m lost for words, but there’s been many a time where I’ve been tongue-tied and unable to even think straight let alone think of any of the obscene thoughts that would run riot under normal conditions.

I’m not normally the ‘chat’ women up type to be honest, I tend to usually just meet someone and there’s just a chemistry that pulls us together, or after a while they see my hidden beauty, and it takes awhile too as its well hidden, either way though, I seem to have landed in my wildest dreams!

There’s beautiful women worldwide no doubt, however its a rare experience in my lifetime certainly to be able to go from shop to shop, to walk to work, catch a bus or to simply look out across from where I work and see true visions of heaven everywhere.

There hasn’t been a day since I’ve been here that you don’t see a women that you would truly die for, or you’d die trying for… And that’s just in Athens itself. I haven’t even been able to see any of the islands really yet, (apart from Crete years ago), and that was different because my Girlfriend of the time was with me. She was truly beautiful anyway and I came on holiday with her thinking that all the men would be fighting over her, or should I say, I thought I’d be fighting all the men. Fortunately I was the only blonde haired guy we saw on our travels and the women seemed to take more of an interest in me than the men did in her which was fortunate for me, but certainly not expected at the time…Strangely enough, so did many of the men, but hey, this is Greece after all…!

Either way, there was many a beautiful woman who I could have gotten into trouble over whilst on holiday, and many that would have even convinced my Girlfriend to challenge the norm, and to be fair they were always Greek, the rest sadly were the depraved, typically drunken women that the UK lets out of ugly school once a year in the summer months and sends to the rest of the sane world to make them appreciate what we have to deal with day in day out…

When you think about it, It’s no wonder British people are so miserable…Sod the weather, you don’t want to end up with that in your bed…!

And not just the men, the typical fat ugly Bricklayer with his hairy arse hanging out must fill young women everywhere full of confidence too, I’m just saying that our gems are still being mined, where as in other parts of the world they have been showing them for a lot longer.

I’m not saying there aren’t any gorgeous British women as there are, it’s just they are either all married or in relationships, which is rightly so, or, well, if I knew where I’d still be there maybe. Also many people I know wouldn’t be settling down with the old trout’s and cheap slappers that roam the clubs devoid of morals and manners…

So far here I haven’t seen many teenage women with two or three kids abandoning them at their mothers before going out to purposely get wasted and have sex with any old moron like they do in Britain, maybe this is why they seem so much more attractive, who knows. There’s something about a cheap slapper geared up in the latest chav wear, who can’t speak properly, who texts with an abomination of English and p*ss poor education that, call me old-fashioned or just picky, just doesn’t turn me on.

There’s many bad things about Greek women that I’m sure I could learn to live with, yet their upbringing and society has left them largely unspoilt to the ways of the western drinking culture that I know and hate and that moulds our stereo typical brand of beer tart.

I see so many truly beautiful single Greek women that it could drive you crazy if you really thought about it.
Subsequently it has, and I often do…

Part of the problem as many tell me is that many of the men have an arrogance that stems from a cultural upbringing, bad habits, and being nurtured by their mothers to the tender age of 40+.

In the UK we have this problem too, it called being a mummy’s boy and to be fair it’s never a good pulling point when trying to impress a woman. Having to ruin a day you planned with your girlfriend because your mum wants to see you isn’t cool, neither is having the phone ringing all night when your trying to spend some quality time together and your mum hasn’t been able to say good night and see when you’ll be back.

Sure it’s great to love your mum, everyone should, but for her to dictate your life, change your clothes and decide upon your fortune is where many may go wrong, I’ve seen this in so many I’ve spoken too.

Not in all, and I’m hardly going to say British men are the greatest either as we must surely hold the record for divorce, causing trouble and p*ssing people off worldwide. Fact! As a nation we’re almost as proud of it as Greeks are that nothing works.

Plus there’s the whole beads issue thing going on… What the f*ck’s that all about… I’ve spoken to a few men who seem content trying to make themselves look cool by spinning the damn things all day long, in front of your face, bouncing them of tables, chairs and anything else in reach. Firstly if you didn’t know, Its f*cking annoying as hell for one, and if nothing else, it really does make you look like a childish retard who needs telling off.

I’m a bit of a musician myself and I know that if I sat tapping the table all day long I’d look a prick too…In private, cool, it may be therapeutic for all I care but unsurprisingly, women don’t seem to find it attractive and most others look at you like you should really leave the room, apart from maybe other bead swinging people, in which case you should maybe form a club and f*ck off somewhere private to do it where it doesn’t p*ss most people off.

I’m not saying all Greek men are bad by any stretch, but society and the way the country has been evolving still has many harsh and chauvinistic tendencies that appear to deter Greek women. Correct me please if I’m wrong, but this is what I’ve been told by many recently anyway.

Also the fact that so many men here are gay, bisexual, or to be fair so pretty that you can’t tell, also has an effect. Many women work on the fact that if a guy spends all his time on looking so damn perfect, having the shiniest car, the best gadgets and working out all of the time, then to be fair he’s probably only interested in having a relationship with himself anyway.

This is universal though, not just in Greece, it happens everywhere.

Sure its great to look and feel good but there’s a limit to becoming self obsessed and vain beyond the healthy levels required to embark upon a relationship with anyone other than yourself.

Personally speaking too, if I was a woman in Greece and seeing the copious amounts of simply divine women everywhere then I’d be more of a lesbian than I am anyway. So this I think these afore-mentioned reasons make it easier to relate to why so many of the women here are single…

The same applies to the men too though, if I were ever to become gay, then there is only one place for it, Greece. Good looking men are ripe too, the country is full of forbidden fruit ripe for picking, and there’s an abundance to suit everyone’s tastes on every tree.

There’s a lot to say for Greek men that is good too, I’m not trying to bad mouth Greek men here, this is just what I have seen and heard , but to be fair I don’t care about that at this stage as I fancy women. I’ll highlight the beauty of Greek men soon enough I’m sure as they have much to offer the world but for now, roll with me, it’s about the ladies…

So, what are they like other than beautiful…? Well, from what I have seen and heard they are like women everywhere…

MENTAL! – But of course in a nice, friendly, set their mother onto you kind of way. And that’s not to be taken lightly either, they are old school, it wasn’t the Greek army that deterred Hitler and the Turks I can tell you, it was the Greek mothers chasing them the hell out… They are akin to my dear nan, bless her, mess with her and then quite frankly you had to leave the country, no other option was available for your own safety.

In the UK we tend to look at the mother and see what the future’s got in store for our nearest and dearest, here the mother is going to be with you for the future anyway, regardless. They take on the role of friend, confidant, sister, advisor and Gestapo all rolled into one. They have an almost symbiotic relationship with their daughters which you have to adapt to, and don’t be surprised if they accompany you on your honeymoon and sneak into bed with you if you try to get too involved.

Many I know feel it normal to have their mothers call them over ten times a day to see what’s happening, and that’s before they leave the house.

This however has yet to deter me from trying to understand them any less though. My quest for knowledge I feel, may get me into trouble and incur the wrath of maybe a mother here and there, however I will endeavour to try understand and appreciate them more n the line of duty.

Part two to follow one day maybe…


One man Riot…
13:14 on 17 November 2008

Well, it’s that time of year when Athens suddenly becomes ablaze again… Well, from what I know, Exarhia does anyway, more than usual.

Apparently the students riot everywhere for some reason one I’m hopeful to discover soon, explanations greatly received so I can hopefully understand and work out why students and anarchists can get away with tearing a part of a city apart every year, still.

Somehow the fact that students can actually be bothered to get up and riot is impressive anyway. This suggests to me that they are far more versatile than our UK counterparts. A typical British student wouldn’t be able to make it to a riot if their course depended upon it.

Plus the organisational skills required to arrange for more than one student to partake would require the same logistical force employed by the US in Iraq.

To be fair it just wouldn’t happen…

Years ago it was common practice to Riot in the UK, but since the government has sucked the life out of our country we as people dare not riot any more for fear of reprisals on a legal scale. We’ve become so politically correct, or incorrect depending upon your view its scary.

We’d be sued for upsetting those who didn’t riot, arrested for speaking our mind, even if the demonstration was peaceful. It seems far more acceptable to preach hate on the streets of Britain these days than to be able to voice your concern on how badly the country has become.

The closest we had to recent riots was over the fuel protests some years back now. That was a none starter as no one could either afford to get there, or transport was so bad anyway, services would have driven you crazy and you wouldn’t have made it past the end of your street at best.

We used to be world leaders in rioting, another export we failed to capitalise on…Now we watch with a sense of wonder and awe as people choose to vent their fury over a common cause. Here in Greece today, as previously mentioned I don’t really know why or care, however I’m just impressed that the people are motivated enough to make a stand, rightly or wrongly.

I’m sure that if on my travels to work tomorrow I see the possible destruction left over as a result of today’s actions I won’t be as impressed, and as I’ve been informed, it can often be quite bad, looting, things being set on fire plus the personal destruction of many people’s properties and items is never acceptable, however, its still nice to know that in the year 2008, Greece loosely abides by its own laws…

Hmmm… Laws…

I do believe they have them here, they have courts and Police and magistrates, and yet they never seem to enforce anything that needs enforcing.

I saw for the first time two weeks back, the Police Tear gassing tramps and homeless and the rest of societies unlucky ones, only to then beat them all up with their batons and then arrest them… It would be funny in a film but its the 21 century, this shouldn’t really happen in the world should it?

Having seen it first hand it shocked me, not to mentioned made my eyes stream as the gas was everywhere, burning your eyes and nostrils as you struggled to focus on the carnage as the protectors of society carried out their jobs with a fury…

So, today, what will happen I don’t really know yet but i feel the desperate urge to join in, to be a part of the chaos that I stride though everyday in Exarhia, I feel that I need too to become a true part of society. It’s like being a citizen here requires it of me…

To become a true citizen of Greece may require such sacrifices at some point…

E's the Law

You've really f*cked it now...!

To be fair, seeing how the country works, (and I use the term ‘works’ loosely), the arrogance of the people who know and who fail to make things work properly may drive me to riot soon anyway…

Tellas watch out…


Back shortly…

15:17 on 15 December 2008

Well, just returned to the chaos of Exarhia for work having recently been back to the UK, or as like to call it, YUK and will be adding a few posts shortly as life has inevitably been worthy of comment and mention in so many ways lately.

I will refrain from voicing my anger and frustration at the bad that has happened and will be rejoicing with the good that has happened once I know I can get home and recover.

Having said that, the masses are gathering, screaming and shouting is beginning in earnest so i shall make like a fart and disappear like the wind…

Toodles for now, back tomorrow…


So it’s that time of year again…
15:07 on 23 December 2008

You guessed it, the time to be suckered into buying things you hate, wouldn’t dare be seen dead with or in, and secretly delight in giving to others…

It’s another Christmas, where we celebrate the big red health risk, lets face it, an old man dressed in all dashing, all red Super outfit, climbs down your chimney after riding a sledge for miles…

Well for a start, one day someone’s going to find a dead man in their front room having had one mince-pie to many…! Plus at his age, he can’t go on forever, there’s no way. Its physics, the law, call it whatever, it ain’t going to happen.

Plus there’s the modern-day bureaucratic nightmare to deal with… Insurance, EU paperwork, crossing borders, passport control and the fact that everywhere will be shut for the holidays, (except where strikes are likely) or spontaneous riots break out, then all’s going to be well…

So, what is Xmas, is it about Santa – Father Christmas, is it religious celebration, is it a feel good factor that we try to embrace for when times are cold, is it a marketing killing spree for the capitalist machine, or is it the birth of a child from a virgin mother…

Mmmm, well call me a cynic, but I don’t believe in Santa Claus any more. The rest’s plausible, well, except for the virgin child bit. Nice touch, but I’ve been kind of brought up on science and fact… You know, 1 + 1 = 2, the sky is up, things drop, gravity, and somehow I know how to spot a flaw in a story… Do you see it…

E'qual Rights

Lee Roy tries to introduce some festive cheer to the Klan!

You see what has slightly prompted this is that I’ve just read an article on how some people would like to see Creationism taught in schools, hmmm, I know, along with the Solar powered Torch, its not the best idea ever to me…

But hey, that’s just my opinion…

I was brought up in a Roman Catholic environment, I never minded, I can’t say it did me no harm, and fortunately I can’t remember too many embarrassing episodes involving me as I was young at the time, as I got older I stepped away from religion as a name, and have my own sort of feelings and beliefs about my outer awareness and such matters. Its not for me to preach or argue that what I feel and believe is right nor wrong as it’s just my way of life, my experiences with the things that have gotten me to this stage in my life, nothing else, no book, holiday, preacher or teacher could have influenced this.

However, I do like Xmas! If for nothing else other than having time to relax and take stock of life and everything thing else, its sweet to eat, get drunk, battered and as mashed as humanely possible knowing that everyone else is probably just as mashed, relaxed, stuffed or whatever your vice is, as you…

So in reflection, whether you believe in Santa, E.T, or the marshmallow man, and whatever your age, religion, colour or creed, have a great and happy Xmas, and an awfully drunken new year from me…

Regardless of the reason’s why…

To all the people I know and to all the new friends and people I’ve met since I’ve been here in Greece,

F*ck off… Oops, wrong one, (that’s for my letter to both UK and Greek Embassies complaining about how thick and knowledgeable they are on their own laws concerning animal movement…)

– Merry Xmas and a Happy new Year…

– χρονια πολλα…

x x x

Wahoo-dee-hoo-dly doooo

15:16 on 15 January 2009

Well, it’s that time again, more sacred than Xmas itself, more revered than Santa riding the devil bareback across a dark velvet chocolate pasture…

You may know the feeling too…

Pay day… Time to celebrate surviving to the point where you’ve eaten the house long clean of really edible food and to where by the empty tin of sweetcorn reminds you of luxuries gone by. The days when pasta was an option, whereby the last bit of meat you saw was walking down the street and had a tail.

I’ve eaten since, we had a Souvlaki at work yesterday night before nipping out for the ever fatal one drink, this lasted till 2:30 in the morning, sadly all the food places had already shut as there may have been riots again, the lack of such shops could have prompted me to create a one man riot, however I fear this would have fallen on deaf ears, so when I got home I couldn’t rest for the grumblings going on in the empty thing I called my stomach. So I put on some music and sat menacingly coaxing a Bailey’s hoping for the local mongrel dog to pass by so I could at least ponder over how hungry I was…

So Xmas, now you can finally give your hard earn money to everyone else you owe for one day of grotesque over indulgence you’ve hopefully been lucky to recover from… Well, what the hell, beats having to be nice to people you don’t really know or like for the rest of the year…lol

Well I had the best time anyway as I finally, after living like a crack head for 5 months in a barren house with my own madness to keep me company managed to get most of my stuff over from the UK, prior to this wasn’t a good thing.

Its one thing to talk to your self but when your sat watching the microwave for excitement you know you’ve got issues to get over. Even the spiders had moved out.

Fortunately the birds in the garden know me well enough by now, and don’t stare pitifully at me as I sit talking to the lumps of rock that look unusually unusual.

Now I have all the mods cons again, I have TV and can watch Greek TV now… Wahoo… Lucky me.

So as you may have guessed, now I have time on my hands and use the TV for either games or gathering dust, and now I have all my clutter – its brilliant…!

I have things I didn’t even know I had, things I certainly can’t remember how to use and other things that I now have to buy a million batteries for, no rude comments there, pleeeease!

Remotes, remotes for remotes, remotes you can programme, for what for gods sake! Today I’ll make this remote do the garden… F*cking unlikely so why the lie… That’s what I want to know! – Marketing spin, probably why I bought it, lured in with its charming sales pitch about how you can control your woman with it, then you get home and still can’t get it to work on them…! What’s that all about?

So, now I have madness on a scale I’m comfortable with, things to lose and misplace and wonder if I left them on when I’m on the train miles away…

Hmmm, I wonder if I left the cooker on, fortunately till now, I know I haven’t, I haven’t had any f*cking food for a start… Rice and pasta surprise doesn’t count, and the surprise being that I had no rice or pasta…! So luckily I was safe with that.

I haven’t got an ironing board yet, so I have a nightmare ironing on the table anyway so I know I always have to put that away, and I figure there’s no need to get an ironing board yet as the next lucky woman should hopefully come with one anyway… lol, just a joke for you psycho little female activists…But they do don’t they…?

But seriously, I’ll export the ironing to some lucky woman in due course anyway so that’s not an issue, and the rest of my stuff I haven’t fully worked out what and where to put it so no panic.

I had a great time at Xmas and saw a load of my friends and my mum back in the UK, and had a great party at mine when I got back, new year was a hoot, and it gets better every time someone else tells me what the hell I was doing and here we are, ready to relax and unwind with the biggest pizza ever and as much cherryade as I can get down me shortly…

Wahoo…Made it!

Start preparing for next year now…


Time to get geared up for the best year ever, or else… 😀