The Penguin Investigation Bureau

The P.I.B

The Penguin Investigation Bureau

The Penguin Investigation Bureau Hotline.
0030 ********

(If you need to talk, we need to listen)

The P.I.B is a highly Secretive collective of Private Investigators, ex Military personnel and other specialists in the field of Anti-Penguin Tactics and Warfare.

Set up in 2008 at the height of the World Penguin Crisis, we aim to protect Mankind and Establish safe Non Penguin Zones Across the World.

Our headquarters are based in Athens , Greece, and our mission is to pursue and track ruthless and dangerous Penguins from across the World.

If your life is or has been affected by Penguins, then fear not, the Penguin Investigation Bureau is here…

– Objectives :

We offer support and help for people infected with Penguinism, (a near fatal affliction for people who think they are Penguins), for people who have been traumatized by Penguins, ex-service personnel who are still dealing with Anti-Penguin Trauma Shock (APTS), and for people who have recently been in combat with Penguins.

We also try to treat people who think they are Nuns…

Similarly we also try to rehabilitate Penguins who think they are Nuns and Nuns who think they are Penguins.

Together they combine to become a deadly combination, or one at least you’d struggle to differentiate between if say they were all the same size at distance.

We offer help on the following subjects :

How to spot a Penguin.
How to spot a Nun.
The difference between a Penguin and a Nun.
How to tell if it’s a nun dressed as a Penguin.
How to tell if it’s a Penguin dressed as a nun.

If you can’t get through to the Penguin Hotline and you have an Urgent Penguin related incident in the meantime, please call your local Police service for assistance.

They should have a department that deals with such enquiries and will be more than happy for your call.

Other sources of information include the following groups :

http://www.penguinsanonymouse.com

http://www.penguinsnotsoanonymouse.com

http://www.thefederalantipenguinleague.net

http://www.wearenotpenguins.biz

http://www.officialnunregistry.org

http://www.nunprotectionsociety.com

Other Useful links on the site :

Tips and Advice

Penguin Related News

Supply Depot

P.I.B. Chat Room

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