Spain, Madrid – 15th June 2008.
Nun on the loose.
Police at first were alarmed to hear that a Penguin had infiltrated the local Church in the centre of the City after startled witnesses were seen fleeing the scene. They initially claimed that a Penguin was giving Mass and one had been seen in the Confessional however reports were sketchy and investigators were soon despatched to the area to try to determine the source of the panic.
Fortunately it turned out that the Nuns were just extremely small and the poor lighting in the church gave them a more sinister appearance. One local described how they thought an Invasion was imminent, “We thought an Invasion was imminent” – said Carlos Juan Miguel Dela-Cruz, a local business man.
The Church has ordered reassured locals that all further Nun activities will be monitored and the Police have been given further powers and resources to be on alert 24 hours a day.
Berlin, Germany – 7th February 2008.
Scientists admit to still having no Cure for Penguinism.
Despite at first claiming limited success with their research into ‘Penguinism‘, Scientists now fear the worst as the Gene has is now apparently thought to be able to cross species. The first victim of the new strain of ‘Penguinism‘ was the Laboratories Parrot ‘Steve’ who contracted the symptoms early on during lab tests and who has since been caught on several occasions trying to go to the beach for a swim.
Turin, Italy – 1st January 2008.
Penguin sighting in Italy.
Drunken revellers celebrating the new year in Italy reported seeing a Penguin disappear down a hill to elude detection. Locals claim later that one of the local Nuns was drunk and had decided to go sledging.
Patagonia, Argentina – 12th October 2007
Bad Habit along the coast.
Inhabitants across the Patagonian Coast came under a suspected Invasion of Nuns the other day, locals said what appeared to be a swarm thousands deep came out the Sea and came dangerously close to a number of remote villages before it became apparent that they were in fact Penguins returning from a small Military operation nearby.
Police advisors still called in an expert on Nuns.
Cleveland, America – 13th May 2006
Penguin caught hacking into NASA.
A trace into a recent Security breach at one of the main NASA offices has been linked to the Notorious Cyber outlaw ‘Penguini‘, so named after the elusive Houdini, as attempts by the Authorities have so far failed to catch the culprit and a trail of herrings were left at the scene.
This is the most recent Cyber attack since the last failed attempt by ‘Penguini‘ to sabotage the recent controversial Anti-Penguin Missile program.
A spokesperson claimed that the Russians had been involved in supplying data to several groups who had been recently linked to Anti-Cyber Warfare, and a NASA mole had been apprehended in connection with the latest attempt.
The world according to fckdup athens. 