Top tips on how to deal with the dumbest of creatures, the ‘online troll’…?

So, it’s probably safe to say that this post wasn’t genuinely intended for normal consumption and was written having dealt with one c*nt too many this week.

Apologies in advance.

Putin unveils the new Russian federation flag in honour of Trumps commitment to the Motherland.

If you don’t know what happened in Helsinki, then listen up :
The doors shut, all fell silent and as Putin looked Dumbo straight between the eyes, he pulled out his phone, and said this as he played him a high definition video of a Russian hotel visit :
“So, listen up f*cknuts. If you…”

Dear America, like seriously!?

“Meanwhile a 300 pound Monkey escaped captivity and is now heading for the White House, experts hope to catch him before the rest of the Country f*cking vote it in…”

Greece, things no one tells you about!

Will I survive Greece?
As long as you like cold coffee, good food and this thing called the ‘SUN’ being ever present, you’d mostly do fine.

Legitimate urban survival in Greece.

Everyone’s looking to survive the crisis here in Greece and it’s only fair I enlighten you all to a new alternative way of ‘beating’ those economy blues, literally.

Insomnia – I can’t get no sheep.

Sometimes you spend so much time burying your demons so deep I can only assume I’m on the flipside of hell, looking up at them, trapped and destined to forever torment them, as they now torment me.

Writers block, British Rail and streaking around London with a sausage up your bottom!

I remember once being on a tube train when it had to stop on my way back from a conference in London, on what must have been the hottest day that year, everyone trapped like canned sardines with at least two armpits in your face and someone else’s boner in your pocket.

Testing Google AI cars and a trip to the Police station.

Personally I think the easiest solution would be to strap a bouncy castle to a Quad bike and cut the brakes, from what I’ve seen, it has much the same effect as what you see as the ‘norm’ anyway!

The Official A – Z of love and matters of the heart.

V – Vajazzle.

If you even know what this word is, you’re already on shaky ground…

Men and women alike, and don’t try and make out you just came across the word and don’t know, please…

A penny for your thoughts, or else, or both.

I’ve gotten so paranoid lately that I lie under my bed at night praying that their isn’t an Alien in my bottom. Seriously, my housemate cooked Broad Beans a couple of weeks ago and I swear to God someone swapped my sphincter with a Tuba.