Mankind Invents ever more stupid ways of putting us all at risk…

New – ‘Drive with your eyes’ car unveiled…

So, it’s clearly not dangerous enough driving as it is, with say your hands and feet, now we can look forward to having a car steered by vision alone…! Wow, sounds great in theory…

*I C U Car

The new I C U Car

Well, If the theory works on the principle that it comes with goggles that remove your libido at the same time…!

I’m not sure how many beautiful women these scientists will want me to run over before they realise that having me drive a car by vision alone could lead to just a few problems… You see, the problem with being able to steer a car by vision alone allows the mere mortal human being within us all to be subjected to more than a few distractions… men and ladies alike…

I won’t be the first to admit to nearly parking my car in a number of different locations by accident whilst being temporarily distracted by members of the opposite sex in my earlier years, and in fact I have nearly run over several people of the same-sex just for being complete wank*rs also…

So where’s the advantages of having a car that will have me arrested for running over the woman of my dreams when I see her walking down the street one day…

I’m all in favour of gadgets and technology that will assist in our day-to-day lives however, unless the vehicle comes with a brake that you strap to your dick, I won’t be buying one any time soon…

I’m sure there will be safety procedures that hopefully try to prevent such things from happening, but then I’ll run the risk of never seeing the woman of my dreams before there’s a thud and a scream coming from the underside of my bumper, purely because of human nature…

– “Hmmm, she’s nice…” THUD!

Sure we can soon find an alibi to cover ourselves from the many impending disasters that will happen thanks to these brainless morons trying to change we steer a car, but what’s the point…

– “Sorry officer, a fly flew into my eye and before I knew it I’d driven clean through the shopping mall and ended up in Agent Provocateur by accident.”

Easily done for sure!

Plus what about women… They already have trouble getting past most shops without incident as it is… They do WITH hands AND feet being partly in control, and often with a man screaming at them as well… either in the car – or not!

Lets face it, most women would probably end up driving backwards due to the amount of time they spend looking in the mirror and putting their lipstick and make up on, No seriously…

So how’s that going to help…! I’m not being sexist, it’s just a fact women, you do, at least till you hit something, (me probably from now on) but hey, it’s all just to emphasise a point…

Statistically women are supposed to be better drivers than men, but statistically statistics never impress me that much as 37.4% of all statistics are all made up. I know because I just made that one up and anyone who says differently will be 65% inaccurate with a 50% chance of being right.

So be honest, how safe would you feel if your wife/girlfriend was driving past a Jimmy Choo sale…?

Exactly my point…

Before you even had time to go clean through the windscreen she’d be filling the boot up with accessories and a number of other items that she didn’t need – just because they were on sale…!

These are just a number of my immediate worries, as thankfully for us all I haven’t had much time to think of any more, but they speak for themselves…

And Ladies, unlikely though it may be, could you ever imagine your man successfully navigating past an all female Beach ball game without finding yourself parked face first in some ones ass covered in sand wondering why you were alone in the car…!

I rest my case…

Safety first… Fortunately I suppose as the Camera has to be set up and calibrated, it could record what you were looking at as well I guess which certainly wouldn’t help either. Not only would you be staring at things that you shouldn’t be looking at, but there’d be evidence to prove it too…

I can’t think of anything else which would lead to you being bludgeoned to death at the wheel faster myself if I tried…

Their aim is to: ‘Make a significant contribution to the development of accident-free, efficient and environmentally friendly mobility.’

Well, to be honest, apart from the ‘accident-free, efficient’ bit they’ve got it nailed…

How it’s supposed to environmentally friendly escapes me at this moment in time, however I’m sure that by maybe causing more accidents this vehicle would lead to less cars on the roads in the long-term…

Its genius…

The upside is that this idea probably won’t work. It’s another quality Idea from people who have far too much time on their hands and clearly not enough sense to take their pants off before they go to the bathroom.

Just like the inflatable Bicycle pump, the Nocturnal sundial and the Euro. If will have a limited lifespan and probably fall into the hands of those incapable of using it correctly in the first place.

And what about all the Blind people in the world, how are they supposed to be able to use it…?

That my friends, is Discrimination…!

*(Image by unknown source)

About Simon Rawicz

Hmmm, It is about me I suppose... Work hard die young seems to be the motto life's going to write on my coffin well before we agree on terms and conditions. I'm a 2D/3D Artist/Designer and Multi-media specialist by trade, I play guitar and write songs when I'm not wanting to vent my anger out on the system. If I occasionally do get time to do anything else I'd like to know about it... Meanwhile to free my mind of the many demons that stalk me, I write stuff, your reading it so I don't need to tell you any more than that surely...!
This entry was posted in The News according to me... and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Mankind Invents ever more stupid ways of putting us all at risk…

  1. Pingback: A bit nipply. – Write or wrong?

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s